Confessions of a Reformed Yell and Teller

I am reminiscing about a tourney in 2015 with our all female staff and I am more convinced than ever that a  philosophy of empowerment works with young athletes today especially girls. The coaching philosophy of FREE Hockey is something that is SOOOOO important for hockey players today-- Fun Respectful Energetic and Enthusiastic ! This acronym not only describes what we want to project and impart on our players it actually describes a style of coaching where the player is "free" and can make their own decisions! It is empowering to play for us and it shows as the players are always laughing smiling and more importantly ENJOYING the experience of "FREE" Hockey!

Now I gotta tell ya...I was the biggest offender in the past of yelling and telling my players what to do--after all wasn't this what a coach was supposed to do?  I started coaching in the 80's! So yelling and telling was ingrained in me--it was the way coaches were! Deep down, it just wasn't who I was, and frankly didn't feel right, but I continued with my ego at the top of the pile and my instincts of nurturing buried deep. If I let out the compassion surely it was the end of my coaching career--"soft" would be my label--no coach wants that!

I felt like I needed to change but couldn't--I had already marched down the road--how could I now be collaborative? How could I now care about the feelings of my athletes? Wasn't that soft? I was the Bobby Knight of women's hockey I was a success with this demanding, insane, demeanor! It worked back then...the problem however was that as today's athletes get more nurtured in the youth ranks, when sports become collaborative and focus on team, the athlete gets mixed signals and the "yell and tell" doesn't work. I wanted to change but the support system where I was employed was not there for me. And that is for another blog ;)

As I now look back on my 23 years in the PAID profession of coaching NCAA hockey, I want to encourage coaches to have the confidence to trust their players! Empower them to take risks, engage in a dialogue with them, and most importantly don't be afraid to be wrong. The only way to get better is to make mistakes. Trust, Try, and Respect the players that you coach.

When I coached  in our "FREE HOCKEY" system, I saw smiles, improvement, collaboration, laughing, having fun, but still dedication, commitment to working hard, and wanting to learn more. It really does work but takes confidence, patience, and practice on the coach's part. The environment that you create is incredibly important for teams to succeed. True coaching is allowing your players to make mistakes and the secret is to correct them with a discerning eye. Because there are players who like a firm hand, others will shut down with just a stern look...you have to know them and want to help them get better. The yell and teller might be gone in me but the true educator is alive and well!

Our foundation PLAY IT FORWARD SPORT will continue to educate lead and help people understand why sports was created, why the community needs sport, and why it is important to have women at the table in ALL levels of sports.